Mutlu Yillar!

Happy New Year!

I hope everyone had a nice holiday and is at least trying to enjoy being back to work:) I should sincerely apologize for how poorly I have kept up with my blog since my last post at the beginning of November. So much has happened in 2 months and I feel bad that I have unfortunately kept you all out of the loop.

For starters, I parted ways with dear Deniz on November 15th and moved into an apartment in a smaller but more 20something-friendly apartment. It unfortunately left us not on speaking terms but it was the right move for me at the end of the day. She was mad about not having the money from my rent, which is understandable, but she ended up saying things that were like "you broke my heart", "all good things I ever thought about you were a lie", etc.. so it made for a slightly uncomfortable departure.

My new place is in Balmamcu, a subdivision of an area called Besiktas. It's situated about 20 minutes from where the popular downtown area is, as well as tons of busses and the tram line that takes you to the old part of the city where all of the touristy stuff is. I found the apartment on craigslist that was posted by a 26 year old Turkish girl named Serim. I am now 2-0 in finding cool roommates on Craigslist! After a few exchanged emails, we set up a time for me to see the place and within 5 minutes of being inside I LOVED it! Serim and I also have a ton in common, which is pretty neat to find with someone who lives almost halfway around the world from you. We both work/worked in Advertising, had the same major in college, same tastes in music, like food, a litle goofy/same sense of humor, and the list goes on. Serim is fluent in English but we have recently begun saying small things in Turkish so I can improve my language skills. She's started saying things in Turkish, followed by the English translation, and if I can I will try and respond in Turkish. However, my vocabulary is very limited so I usually can just respond with yes, no, or I don't know, haha.

My room in the apartment is perfect. It came equipped with an IKEA metal-closet thing, a desk, bed, small dresser, a giant framed picture of Snoopy that says" I am the sunshine of my life" and my own private entrance to our adorable outdoor patio. What more could I ask for?

Other fun amenities of the apartment include a working tv (I differentiate bewteen tv and working tv bc my apt in Prague just had not one but two "tv's"), nice stereo, dishwasher, washer AND dryer (uncommon in many turkish apartments - only having a washer is the norm), BOARD GAMES (trivial pursuit) and a cat. Mirno (pronounced murno), the cat, is awesome and acts more like a dog than anything.

A few things I've been wanting to write about for awhile are just some fun facts about Istanbul and my observations so far of the cultural differences between America v. Turkey. For starters, I learned that Istanbul is the 5th largest city in the world. It has 39 districts (ie Besiktas, Sariyer - the district that Tarabya was in) and is not in fact the capital of Turkey but Ankara is. Turkey is also the only country that is situated on two different continents - Europe and Asia. It's split by the Bosphorus Strait, which makes the two giant bridges that connect Europe and Asia extremely important where trade is concerned. Istanbul was also once the capital of the Roman Empire, the Byzantine Empire, the Latin Empire and the Ottoman Empire. Turkey became it's own country in 1923 so technically it hasn't even existed on it's own for a century! The Ottoman Empire only ended in 1922..isn't that crazy?! That's why everyone is obsessed with Mustafa Kemal Ataturk (the first president of Turkey) because he only recently made the reforms that put Turkey on the track to becoming a modern nation. Even though he's no longer alive, he still has such a following that you'd think he was a famous rock star or something. Any kind of modernization that you see in Turkey is because of this man...any shift towards a secular government, welcoming other religions, women's rights, education etc etc...is all because of Ataturk. Unfortunately though, the current government in power - A.K. Parti - is more conservative than Ataturk was when he was in office so they have actually tried to go back on some of the Ataturk's reforms. For example, any public display of religion in government buildings/schools was restricted under Ataturk because they wanted to keep things neutral. Any woman wearing a headscarf would have to remove it if she entered a school and the same would go for anyone wearing a cross. The new government tried to reinstate the headscarf in gov buildings, but there was such a backlash against the idea that they never followed through with it. So, because of Ataturk, you still can't publicly display your religion in these places. I guess it kind of sucks if by choice you want to display your religion, so in a way their freedom of speech is actually pretty limited, but there seems to be such a confusion about what kind of Muslim you are/how strong your beliefs are that I think keeping things secular is a good thing. The whole Ataturk movement has established a very open and liberal minded community of practicing and non-practicing Muslims which is really interesting to experience. You still will see a lot of women wearing headscarves here though, and even a few wearing the black, full-body eyes-only burkha. I can't really determine what the breakdown is between conservative and liberal, but I guess it's conservative enough to elect the current party into office.

It's crazy how much living in a developing country will make you realize just how civilized your home country is. When I think of what I grew up with in the US I think of the fact that we have the ability to pretty much do whatever we want, regardless of being male or female, as long as we work hard to get there. Be nice to others, love your family, have a successful job, keep good friends and do what makes you happy. It's seems very balanced to me and it's available for whoever wants to go after it. Here, the general mentality is so unbelievably different than that sometimes I feel like I'm living on another planet. There are parts of it that I like and am trying to embrace while I'm here, but there are other parts that make me appreciate the kind of upbringing that I've had. Turkey is all about the good neighbor policy which I both appreciate and despise. In the US, we're taught to be self-sufficient and earn what we want. To me, this translates to being able to do things without having someone tell me how to do it or walk me through it. Here, people place such an emphasis on doing favors for others that for instance at work, even if it means interrupting what you're doing (and even if you might be doing it right), someone might literally interrupt what you're doing and say no no, it's ok I'll do it! This might sound nice but after a few times it starts getting a little old and feels intrusive to someone who's used to working for what you want. What I've had to realize though is that it's not because this person doesn't think I can't do whatever task I'm doing, it's that they think they're doing me a favor by taking over my job so I don't have to do it. It's more an act of hospitality than anything. So, like I said, I can appreciate it because that's just part of their culture and I think it's nice that people are so genuinely concerned about you and your well-being. However, I don't like it because it can feel intrusive and when you think about it it's a really hard thing to get used to, especially in the workplace!

Something else I've noticed with Turkish women is that a lot of them are pretty submissive. I think it's probably because the idea of women's rights is so fresh. Maybe it's the religion, maybe it's because Turkish people are really hospitable in general? I really have no idea. My roommate was telling me about this mentality that is pretty common in conservative families where the daughter is seen as the "property" of the father until she finds a husband, where she then becomes the "property" of her husband. I'm assuming that that's common in Arab and Asian cultures, but it's surreal for me to actually witness it first hand and be so close to it. I think what's most surprising for me is that I kind of associated that mentality with people who might not be as educated or fortunate, yet after Serim told me that I realized I had some good friends here who were well-educated, multilingual, knowlegable about pop culture, art, music, literature, etc....but they have that mentality and actually abide by it. I had remembered things some of these friends had said to me that made me a little confused at the time, but after Serim said that I realized these girls had been alluding to that kind of situation with their families.

OK, enough for today - check back soon for another update:) Lots of love!

Kelsey